10 Steps To Loving Yourself.

Hey Daintys,

Todays post is less about products, reviews and physical items and more so about the emotional and mentality of yourself.

For a long time and even still I have struggled with the loving yourself and being positive.  Recently I've had many ups and downs which is not easy to overcome, its making it hard to focus on work, hobbies and everyday life. It becomes a task to get through the day.

Many times I have avoided trying to make plans with friends, for several reasons but these mainly being because I have assumed they won't want to see me anyway or because me will power to move and get up and go has been drained.
I have  a tendency to walk places and through crowds with my head down, and avoided talking to cashiers.... Palming the role onto someone whos with me. Usually the Boyfriend (Sorry James).
One thing I have never done is cancelled plans at last minute, simply because I despise this. However I have had times where I have forced myself up and out just to ensure I don't cancel, despite everything saying I should Cancel.
I've experienced a few times  where I really didn't love myself or feel the like I had any form of purpose.

One thing I will state before I go into Loving yourself takes time and it is not easy. I can not sit here and tell you that I love myself, nor that I never feel the above because sometimes it can not be helped. Its human nature.
It would be easy to assume this post, is about self love is an easy journey. In all honesty I would understand if people seen this  post and its title and assumed it was going to be 10 quick, easy steps or a list of superficial ways to feel a bit better about yourself.

Loving yourself is a constant journey and everybody will experience it at some point in life, and unfortunately many experience dark times and days where you slip into this dark place where all you can see is the negative.

Today I hope to share with you ten things that I have found and have experience, which have made me feel like I'm progressing. This may not work for all and all 10 Steps may not apply, this is purely experience and some points to start with if you wish.


1. Being alone.
This works in two ways, and is perhaps the hardest, but is one of the key steps that I learned and that has helped me develop. There has been times where being alone, was the worst thing ever. I hated the silence and I would go out my way just to be in people's presence. This can be good, but isn't always, you should not be alone all of the time and should enable yourself to be included instead of excluded. However you must also allow yourself alone time, a place and time to relax and put the world to rights on your own. You should learn to be able to put yourself in both of these places.

2. Acknowledging your faults.
We all have them, whether we see them or not. We each have faults or things we or someone else dislike. Accepting them is sometimes hard and pretty painful. Finding someone else who accepts them can help, but it will never mean anything if you can't accept them yourself. Never Dwell or allow yourself to feel hatred for your faults, just allow yourself time to accept them and understand them. For example; Nail biting is seen as a fault, why do you do it? Many do it due to anxiety or being nervous. Accept it. Overcome it? Yes you can overcome it, the more you begin to self love the easier it will be to stop the nail biting. Always allow yourself time to figure out a source and see if it can be overcome. REMEMBER: You will allows have faults just like everybody else.

3. Celebrating your strengths.
Again, we all have them! So don't dwell on the faults begin to see your strengths. Seeing them when you have low self esteem is not easy and feel like near impossible; believe me, I know.
But we do all have strengths. Ask the people who care about you, who you trust and those you spend a lot of time with, What makes you special/loved and you'd probably be so surprised. It helped me to place reminders of things I liked about myself on post it notes throughout my journal, on your mirror or even set them as reminders on your phone.

4. Do Things you Love.
Spend time thinking of things you love. I start with a sheet of paper or a bundle of cut up squares, I write 10 -30 things on these pieces of things to do. These range from watching 1 Disney Movie, Watch a TV Series, Start a New TV Series, to things such as Go to the Beach, Book a trip away. I will make these each month and allow myself a budget and only write what fits that budget. So you can have months of doing indoor & free activities to ones where you spend & explore.
This allows you to do things you love. If you know that you have a 4 day weekend and nothing planned pull out 1-4 things and do them that weekend, or pre plan and allow yourself something to look forward to.

5. Don't do things you are uncomfortable with say 'No'.
No is sometimes a Taboo in the world of those who have no self love. Saying this can be hard and it does not come naturally. If a situation arises where I find myself wanting to say no, I still feel I need to apologise for it. But I do say NO. Never force yourself to be where you don't wish to be or make yourself feel uncomfortable to adapt to others. It's okay to step out of your comfort zone but its also okay to say No when it is not beneficial to you and your mind.

6. Taking care of yourself.
This coheres with the above and really this whole post. Whether it be you eating right, getting exercise, allowing yourself time off, investing in something you love; you must begin to treat yourself like you would to your very best friend. Caring for yourself, gives you a boost of happiness, self love and pushes your confidence.

7. Surrounding yourself with the good.
In order to make yourself happy, you must allow yourself to be in the presence of happiness, things that are good and things that make you smile. Don't settle for less. Be with people who make you feel good, who make others feel good. Put yourself first. Remove the negative people and negative things in your life. Simple things such as your bedroom walls are grey and you hate grey or it makes you feel a little down. Re paint your walls? make them bright pink or yellow. Allow yourself to have a space to go which makes you happy.

8. Setting Goals.
Targets & Goals help us keep moving from one place to the next. They give our mind a focal point and allow us to develop, whether you are aiming to do something great and ambitious, or simply getting up and getting dressed in the morning; its Key to have goals and need something to strive for.
I make goals for the month and Ive achieved many! Blog post is coming about some new work! #Exciting

9. Asking for help.

Sometimes you set goals that are ambitious and the kick start to it seems a whole ocean away, however don't be afraidto ask for help. We have been in a place where we won't ask for help for one key reason.
One - because we done wish to bother people.
But it is important to overcome that and realise that you can ask and you deserve to be helped. I managed to overcome this and as said in (8.) I have News!!!!!

10. Being Thankful.
Many people take life for granted and Gratitude often goes a miss. However this is something which should be practiced. During the each day or at the end of each week sit and think of all the things  that make you feel lucky. A nice thing I have done ... Although lacked in doing recently is, write down each day or week what you are thankful for, the things that have made you happy that week and at the end of a month or even a year open them up. Allow yourself that time to realise life is worth more than money and shoes.

So those are my Steps to loving Yourself, this won't happen overnight, its is a constant journey, I'm nowhere near done. But I'm doing better than I was yesterday, and I'm a completely different person to the one I was a few years ago. I hope these have helped and if you wish to see more methods of dealing with stress I did a brief post here

Much Love

xoxo